As I tried to show in my books, Be the Light, Becoming the Light, and Fighting Darkness, we have all gone through dark times, but staying in the pain and fear is a choice. Ask for help. Help others. Speak your truth. Whatever you need to do to walk away from the pain, doubt, hurt, and confusion will be worth it. It may seem scary at first, but truly - if you take the risk, you will not regret it.
There are others who do understand your pain. They may not have had your identical experiences, but they have experienced almost identical feelings of being alone, unloved, unwanted, undeserving. Those feelings are part of the illusion that the darkness from our past wishes for us to accept in our present. There is no truth here, only fear. Don't give in to this darkness, instead Be the Light!